Quite some achievement! Fun to decipher.
Either do away with all spelling conventions (particularly with capitalization) or stick to them. As it is now it is inconsistent, it all looks as if not properly worked out, which is a pity because it is a lovely text.
What I again miss is – since you are contributing to a Kalevala class – some effort at alluding to both the form and content of the Finnish epic.
For purely linguistic reasons I am not convinced by verse 3:
"Europe wants new to do." The concept of “damaged language” – fine, but does it really work here? It is again a question of unity. You are, are you not, running together two, maybe even three, thoughts: 1) Europe can be new; Europe wants/intends to do new things; 3) Europe wants to be new.
It might be worth the effort to re-write the verse without sacrificing (too much of) the original idea.
There is, I think, no need for “as” in the penultimate verse.
Taking the lead from your method I would write: “So children let us no(w) be”
Once again: great fun! Congrats.
PK
